Ten of the key lessons from Mika Brzezinski's book Knowing Your Value every woman should know:
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| Mika Brzezinski |
What you contribute and how much that is worth in the market.My heart broke for Brzezinski when she describes how it felt to finally sign a contract with MSNBC only to realize that both of her co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Willie Geist made significantly more money than she did. Not only that, but they were assigned specifically to Morning Joe, whereas she was required to do the show and other assignments for the network. This very painful realization finally forced her to objectively and dispassionately research how much she was worth in the market and learn how to be compensated fairly.
2) Don’t wait to be noticed.
Walk in and ask for what you want…because that’s what all of the guys are doing, constantly.If there’s one truth from the book that every woman needs understand, it’s that men ask for more all the time, even if, on paper, they don’t deserve it at all! If five guys are constantly asking for a promotion and you don’t say a word because you think someone will notice your hard work and ask if you’re interested in advancing, chances are it’s not going to happen. One of the guys will get the job.
3) Learn how to negotiate in a way that’s comfortable for you, and stop being so “grateful” for everything.
My admiration for Brzezinski increased even more when I read the candid, awkward account of her initial attempts to negotiate. In one scenario, she went in and basically said, “I hope you understand that I need to make more money.” It didn’t work. Then she decides to try to emulate the negotiating style of the men which was very confrontational and aggressive. Needless to say it didn’t work either (although the story is very funny the way she describes it.)
Finally, she decides to approach her negotiation in a way that’s comfortable for her, “Be prepared—document your achievements, know the fair market value of your work—and make it about the facts in front of you.” And that’s what she did and she succeeded.
Also, the belief that “I’m so grateful for the opportunity, so I shouldn’t ask for more” is a common stumbling block throughout the book for Brzezinski and the other successful women she interviewed. Yes, we should be grateful for a good job, especially today. But don’t let that sense of gratitude keep you from getting what you are worth. Sheryl Sandberg shares a terrific story of how she almost fell into the “gratitude” trap until her brother-in-law snapped her out of it, quite forcefully.
4) Sometimes you have to be willing to walk away to get what you want.
In the opening scene of the book, Brzezinski sits in a restaurant across the table from her Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough. The show is successful. The audience is growing. She loves what she’s doing and enjoys working with Scarborough, but she calmly tells him that she is leaving the show. She is fact-based as she explains that she can no longer, in good conscience, be part of an effort where her contribution is not being fairly recognized and valued. Brzezinksi’s willingness to walk away leads to dramatic results that even surprise her. But her story proves that no one will value you, until you value yourself. Even if that means sometimes you have to be willing to leave to prove you are serious.
5) Men can be very powerful allies and sponsors. Seek them out.
If you didn’t already admire and respect Joe Scarborough, you will after you read the book. He is a true ally and advocate for Brzezinski, and not just because he’s a nice guy. It’s because he knew she was valuable to his success and the success of the show. Don’t be afraid to seek out men with the power to advance and sponsor your career. If the facts are there to support your contribution to them and the business, they can be your strongest supporters.
6) Like men, other women will pay you less if they can get away with it.
This is a tough one because it’s nice to think there’s a “sisters-supporting-sisters” camaraderie, but, as Brzezinski points out, other women won’t necessarily go out of their way to make sure you get what you are worth. In fact, like men, they will pay you less if they can get away with it. One female middle manager at the network even talked Brzezinski out of asking for more money explaining that she didn’t want her to get a bad reputation. Even when negotiating with other women, you need to do your homework and have your strategy in place.
7) Keep going when all seems lost, and grab opportunity when it appears.
Throughout the book, Brzezinski exhibits an extraordinary level of resilience and persistence. After being fired from her job as the weekend anchor of the CBS News and periodic correspondent for 60 Minutes, she writes, “I was 40 years old, and my career was in shambles. Basically, I was old news. My best days appeared to be behind me and I wasn’t considered a worthy investment.”
Finally, in 2007, after a year of unemployment, she begs someone she knows at MSNBC to give her any position they had. They gave her the job of reading 30 second news segments between shows. This was a major step down from her previous positions, but she took it. She was “grateful” to have the opportunity and the ability to make some money.
About a year into the job, she ran into Joe Scarborough in the hall. He was in New York auditioning for the slot vacated when Don Imus was fired. Even though Brzezinski and Scarborough had never met in person before, he asked her if she would be interested in co-hosting a show with him. The rest is history.
8) Flexibly redefine success regarding money, caregiving, prestige and advancement as needed.
“The job was just fine. After a year of unemployment, it was predictable, it was good for the kids, it was great to be back in the game but work was boring.” When Brzezinski first went back to MSNBC for four hours a day reading 30 second news lead-ins, it worked for her and for her family. Even though it was a major step down from her anchor position, it was better than unemployment. Consistently, throughout the book you see how she flexibly redefined success related to money, prestige, advancement and caregiving to feel good about where she was at the time. However, she explains that the trick/challenge was to recognize when her value proposition improved and readjust upward.
9) Be yourself.
When she runs into Joe Scarborough in the hall and he offers her the opportunity to co-host a show, her response is, “’Why?’ I told him I was a forty year old washed up newswoman and a housewife from Westchester. He said, ‘Exactly! Someone real!’” She got the job by being herself which is, ultimately, what made her so valuable. As I said at the beginning of the post, it’s because of that realness that I love watching the show!
10) Being a good mother makes you more valuable at work, not less.
Finally, perhaps the most important lesson for women who are mothers is don’t buy into the myth that you can’t contribute as significantly at work if you have children. Brzezinski firmly believes the opposite is true and carefully lays out the case that, in fact, being a mother makes you more valuable at work, not less.
We all need to know our value and offer it to the world and our families, while getting compensated fairly. Inspiration from brave, successful women like Brzezinski who have already charted this often unclear path helps. Now, more women must take the lead on their own behalf.
Source: Forbes
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